A legacy of love
18/07/16 05:10
There was a tradition whose origins I don’t know, of saving the top layer of a wedding cake to be eaten on the 1st wedding anniversary. I don’t know if the entire cake was made as a fruitcake, but at least the top layer was done that way. The top layer was then placed in a tin, and sealed with wax and stored in a root cellar or other cool place to be included in the anniversary celebration. Our Aunt Teddy was the first of the five Lewis girls to be married and the top layer of their cake was thus preserved. Times were tough back then. The country was just beginning to emerge from the Great Depression and that had shaped all of the people who had come of age in those times. And the groom, Ralph, was a very conservative man. He was a hard worker and wanted to get started in farming and didn’t believe in taking on debt. You got what you needed by saving. The couple were by nature savers, who were willing to delay gratification in order to accomplish their goals.
So when the first wedding anniversary came around, they simply saved that cake. And then they saved it some more. Eventually the family became established enough to have a freezer in their basement and the tin was wrapped in a layer of aluminum foil and placed in the freezer. Life went on. The couple had two sons born to them and raised them on the farm. The sisters of the bride got married and started families of their own. I’m one of the children of one of the sisters.
Those sisters remained close to each other for all of their lives and though they lived in different communities, they got together as often as possible for family fun and celebrations. I was eight years old when the younger of their two sons got married and it was one of the first weddings of which I have a clear memory. I was included in the process of decorating the couple’s car and can remember the opening of wedding gifts. There were many cousin weddings and I don’t remember the order of all of them, but I have clear memories of the weddings of both of the sons of Aunt Teddy and Uncle Randy.
Years later, we had a family gathering at which we celebrated the wedding anniversaries of two of the sisters, Aunt Teddy and Aunt Myrna. The group crafted wedding dresses out of newspaper and had a mock wedding complete with mudpie wedding cakes. It was a fun family gathering with lots of laughter and storytelling. The subject of the original wedding cake came up and we were surprised to learn that the top layer still existed, in the freezer, in a wax-sealed tin wrapped in aluminum foil. The group decided that it should be taken out and eaten when the 50th wedding anniversary came around. I was present and got a small square of barely-recognizable cake with a couple of raisins in it. It wasn’t particularly tasty, but along with the others I had a taste before turning to other foods that were abundant at the gathering. So, although I wasn’t born at the time of the wedding, I did have a bite of the cake.
The years have passed. More weddings have occurred. Some were in distant locations and I was not able to attend. Others I was able to attend. I have been the officiant at a few family weddings. Yesterday we celebrated the wedding of the great-granddaughter of my Aunt Teddy and Uncle Randy. At the dance they had a couples dance where married couples danced as the DJ called out numbers of years of marriage: 1, 5, 10, 20, etc. Couples sat down as the numbers were called out. The last two couples on the dance floor turned out to be the parents of the bride and the parents of the mother of the bride. Had my wife been present, we would have been between those two couples in longevity. Of course the grandparents were the longest-married couple in attendance, having been married 55 years now.
Later that evening, I commented to the couple that I had eaten the cake of the bride’s great-grandparents, attended the wedding of her grandparents and although I didn’t attend the wedding of her parents, I had known her mother for all of her life and her father for more than 30 years. This new family, formed by the promises they made yesterday, stand in a long line of family-making and a tradition of love and commitment.
Our family is like other families. Over the years there have been more than a few divorces. There have been some tragic deaths and some reconfigurations of families. We’ve got our quirks and stories and even a few black sheep, as the language is used where I come from. Through all of this and all of the changes of history and culture over the years we have remained a close-knit family. In this digital age, one of the ways we stay connected is through an email list serve that we call “Verneva,” the name of our Aunt Teddy which itself is a blending of her parents’ names, Vernon and Eva. As we all are the descendants of common grandparents. The bride is the sixth generation of our family to live on the ranch near Floweree, Montana and the fourth generation to have lived in that same farmhouse.
She and her husband will explore territory where the rest of us have never gone. They will travel to the places of his family and explore his heritage as well as hers. They will likely witness history that is beyond the span of my lifetime. It is unlikely that I will live to meet their grandchildren.
But I do know that the legacy of love begun generations before I came into being, will continue in our family will continue. I do know that the commitment to family runs strong in their lives as it has in all of the cousins who gather for family celebrations in this generation.
I have tasted the cake of yet another family wedding. And I can report that it is as sweet and good as ever.
So when the first wedding anniversary came around, they simply saved that cake. And then they saved it some more. Eventually the family became established enough to have a freezer in their basement and the tin was wrapped in a layer of aluminum foil and placed in the freezer. Life went on. The couple had two sons born to them and raised them on the farm. The sisters of the bride got married and started families of their own. I’m one of the children of one of the sisters.
Those sisters remained close to each other for all of their lives and though they lived in different communities, they got together as often as possible for family fun and celebrations. I was eight years old when the younger of their two sons got married and it was one of the first weddings of which I have a clear memory. I was included in the process of decorating the couple’s car and can remember the opening of wedding gifts. There were many cousin weddings and I don’t remember the order of all of them, but I have clear memories of the weddings of both of the sons of Aunt Teddy and Uncle Randy.
Years later, we had a family gathering at which we celebrated the wedding anniversaries of two of the sisters, Aunt Teddy and Aunt Myrna. The group crafted wedding dresses out of newspaper and had a mock wedding complete with mudpie wedding cakes. It was a fun family gathering with lots of laughter and storytelling. The subject of the original wedding cake came up and we were surprised to learn that the top layer still existed, in the freezer, in a wax-sealed tin wrapped in aluminum foil. The group decided that it should be taken out and eaten when the 50th wedding anniversary came around. I was present and got a small square of barely-recognizable cake with a couple of raisins in it. It wasn’t particularly tasty, but along with the others I had a taste before turning to other foods that were abundant at the gathering. So, although I wasn’t born at the time of the wedding, I did have a bite of the cake.
The years have passed. More weddings have occurred. Some were in distant locations and I was not able to attend. Others I was able to attend. I have been the officiant at a few family weddings. Yesterday we celebrated the wedding of the great-granddaughter of my Aunt Teddy and Uncle Randy. At the dance they had a couples dance where married couples danced as the DJ called out numbers of years of marriage: 1, 5, 10, 20, etc. Couples sat down as the numbers were called out. The last two couples on the dance floor turned out to be the parents of the bride and the parents of the mother of the bride. Had my wife been present, we would have been between those two couples in longevity. Of course the grandparents were the longest-married couple in attendance, having been married 55 years now.
Later that evening, I commented to the couple that I had eaten the cake of the bride’s great-grandparents, attended the wedding of her grandparents and although I didn’t attend the wedding of her parents, I had known her mother for all of her life and her father for more than 30 years. This new family, formed by the promises they made yesterday, stand in a long line of family-making and a tradition of love and commitment.
Our family is like other families. Over the years there have been more than a few divorces. There have been some tragic deaths and some reconfigurations of families. We’ve got our quirks and stories and even a few black sheep, as the language is used where I come from. Through all of this and all of the changes of history and culture over the years we have remained a close-knit family. In this digital age, one of the ways we stay connected is through an email list serve that we call “Verneva,” the name of our Aunt Teddy which itself is a blending of her parents’ names, Vernon and Eva. As we all are the descendants of common grandparents. The bride is the sixth generation of our family to live on the ranch near Floweree, Montana and the fourth generation to have lived in that same farmhouse.
She and her husband will explore territory where the rest of us have never gone. They will travel to the places of his family and explore his heritage as well as hers. They will likely witness history that is beyond the span of my lifetime. It is unlikely that I will live to meet their grandchildren.
But I do know that the legacy of love begun generations before I came into being, will continue in our family will continue. I do know that the commitment to family runs strong in their lives as it has in all of the cousins who gather for family celebrations in this generation.
I have tasted the cake of yet another family wedding. And I can report that it is as sweet and good as ever.